It’s officially been 6 weeks since I landed back in Beijing. Since then, I’ve been working from home and adhering to the city’s mandatory self-quarantine measures. Here’s what it’s been like:

• Some days are good and some are bad. Some days I’ll feel full of anxiety and let the existential dread creep in, wondering how I’m going to make it another hour. Other days, the sun is shining, I go out for a run, and I can get through the day with no negative thoughts.

• The lack of socializing is difficult. Yes, my friends are still in Beijing, but with most bars closed and restaurants enforcing the “2 people per table” rule, as well as residential areas not letting in non-residents, it can be challenging to find somewhere to meet up.

• I’ve found that some days, I lose all interest in any form of entertainment. There’s only so many movies or tv shows to watch, sometimes I can’t focus enough to read, and other days I have zero appetite to write. Other days, I find myself caught up in a good book or catching up on movies I haven’t seen.

• Not knowing when things are going to end is the hardest part, especially since I’m preparing to leave China forever on May 4th. At this point, I have nowhere to go because due to the epidemic, many countries in SE Asia have stopped visas on arrival or closed the country entirely. I’m optimistic that over the next 6 weeks, things will improve and countries will start to open back up, but at the rate things are going, I’m not sure how long my optimism will last. Regardless, I will still leave China in May.

• My gym, along with all the other gyms in the capital, has also been closed for 2 months now. Which is super annoying because gyms in Shanghai are open but because it’s the capital and serves as a representation for the rest of the country, Beijing is being super cautious about everything. I hope they open soon — there’s only so far I can get with working out at home. I’ve lost 3 kg since arriving back in Beijing on February 8th.