Spanish Test

Saw this on Reddit and couldn’t help but think, “This has got to be a Spanish class in Arizona”. 

Nicknaming

Student (Rain Man): What am I supposed to call you: Mr. Hill, Degen, teacher…?

Degen: Call me “El Tigre”

Gumby

We’ve got a special post today. Ladies, I’d like to introduce you all to my student, Juan. He discovered my blog and proceeded to laugh and tell me that no one reads it. So to all those ladies out there that are interested and clearly not reading this blog, don’t hesitate another minute! He goes by the name, “Señor Don Juan Ton” or “Gumbi” due to his gangly stature. 

Juan: I told you I’d post this

Peruvian Thanksgiving

The Peruvian Thanksgiving spread.

Blah blah blah...

Talked about the Olympics in class today (a sore topic for Peru) and tried to figure out the origins of swimming. One student made a good point by saying, “If someone pushes you into the ocean, wouldn’t that be swimming?” To which I said, "Well I suppose if you don’t drown, then yeah, you’ve got a point.“ 

Went to the grocery store today and bought 5 different types of local powdered roots and grains because they are "Bueno para la salud!” Mixed them together with hot chocolate powder and now have quite an interesting drink when combined with water. 

Highlight of my day: Splurging on an overpriced can of Nutella because it’s just so goddamn tasty

Ah class..

Me:What's something that would be considered 'not fashionable'?
Student:Fat girls in bikinis
You've got a point there Juan. And on an unrelated note, there is no water today. It's really somewhat of a guessing game between the residents and the city of Arequipa. We, as residents, try to plan when they will shut off the water while they, the city of Arequipa, try their best to keep us on our toes. They blindsided us today, so unfortunately we weren't able to stockpile our water reserves. I'll see you next month Arequipa and you better believe that I'll be ready for you and your conniving ways.

2nd picture is of my buddy’s place and it’s a bit odd. There’s a giant hallway with rooms on both sides including a kitchen, but no common area to hangout. Not a great house to socialize in, but the hallway’s real nice.

Taught my students ‘Don’t knock it til you try it’. So shout-out today goes to my main man Trotter and his world famous 'I wanna puke watching you eat that’ sandwiches. Nothing like a peanut butter, ham, mayonnaise and jelly sandwich to make someone want to hurl. I miss you buddy and I hope that you and squidders are doing well in Cheneytown! 

Went to Mall Aventura yesterday and it was bigger than any mall I’ve ever been to in the states. It also had a better food court. El Turko is probably the closest thing I’ll get to a gyro down here in South America.  

Shaved my head and made a comment that it was getting cold due to no hair. Next day one of my students gave me a “Chullo”, which is like a Peruvian hand-made beanie. Although some of them can be a pain in the ass, I love my students. Chile in 2 days and it couldn’t come soon enough. 

Calvin & Hobbes is classic. This was a surprising gift from one of my students. I watched her draw it in class which was quite impressive to say the least. 

Exam day is tomorrow, which means for 8 hours I will be learning unnecessary words that exist in the English language only to make standardized testing that much more difficult. 

Today was pizza day and as always, it was entertaining. Whilst manhandling a piece of pizza, I watched a student stare in horror as a piece of sausage fell off the slice and onto the floor. As if in slow motion, he did 3 back to back glances from the pizza to the wounded soldier that lay isolated on the grubby blue carpet. He then swept his eyes around the room, and after confirming that no one was watching, bent down and picked up the sausage between his forefingers. Without even as much as a second thought, he delicately plopped it back onto his slice, smiled, and took a bite as if nothing had happened. Don’t worry, Gabo, I’m sure no one else saw it. 

Hopes and Dreams...

Me:Has anyone ever wanted to be an actor?
Student:Like in a porn?
What do I even say to that? "You read my mind Jorge!"

Soulja Boy Tell 'Em

15 year old Chinese girl in my class named Yufen goes by the nickname Yu (pronounced ‘you’). Whenever she walks in I yell “YUUUUUU”, which is similar to the oh-so-catchy “Crank That Soulja Boy” song. Needless to say, I taught her the dance and that’s how class starts 2-3 days out of the week. 

This is the same girl who washes dishes for free in her father’s restaurant, to which I printed out American child labor laws and told her to demand a minimum wage. Let the revolution begin. 

Plagiarism? Huh?

One of my students tried to hand in a late essay and begged me to read it. After scanning through it, I realized I needed a psychology degree to translate it. 

“You sure you wrote this Rodrigo?" 

"Oh absolutely teacher”

2 minutes of looking through the internet I found the exact text on the first hit with google (really dude?) of which I showed my ‘diligent’ student. 

“Kinda looks like you copied and pasted buddy”

“Ya so what’s the problem?”

I have learned that plagiarism doesn’t exist in Peru and if I want a decent piece of writing, it’s gotta be in class. When I explain that it’s illegal in the States the unanimous response is, “Who cares? We’re in Peru”. 

Class outside? YEP! Went to a Red Hot Chili Peppers cover band concert last night where you could buy pitchers of rum and coke for S/. 10. It was dangerously delicious.