#23: Settling Down: A Quixotic Quest or a Calculated Choice?

"Home is where the heart is" – this age-old adage has been the cornerstone of countless romantic tales and tear-jerking family dramas. But in reality, the decision of where to settle down is often a complex interplay of factors, ranging from practical considerations like job opportunities and affordability to emotional connections with people and places.

Have you ever found yourself somewhere and thought "Yep, this is it - this is where I want to be"? That feeling of being in the right place at the right time can be intoxicating. But what is it that draws us to certain locations over others when it comes to settling down?

For some, it's fate. They meet that special someone and suddenly nowhere else matters except being together. According to a 2021 survey, over 30% of people chose where to live based primarily on a romantic partner's location. The pull of love conquers all.

For others, it's the lure of opportunity - a new job, a promising career move. The census shows that employment is the top reason people relocate to a different state. When salary and advancement call, we answer.

Then there are the wanderers who stumble across a place during their travels and get that ineffable feeling of "This is home." Perhaps it was the crisp mountain air, the sunny beach vibe, or the electric city pulse that seduced them. Statistics indicate that around 18% of people decide where to settle based on vacationing there.

But what is it specifically about a place that makes us think "Yep, this is the spot"? Is it the geography, the culture, the community? Most often, it's an amalgamation - an alchemical mix that satisfies our needs and wants in that moment.

The decision to move to a new place can be likened to embarking on a thrilling adventure. It's like stepping into a new chapter of your life, full of possibilities and uncertainties. You might be drawn to a bustling metropolis like New York City, where career opportunities abound and the cultural scene is always buzzing. Or you might be captivated by the laid-back charm of a coastal town like Santa Barbara, where the pace of life is slower and the natural beauty is breathtaking.

Herein lies the catch though: Our needs are constantly evolving. What initially drew us to Phoenix's sun may wane when we crave more water activities. What began as Seattle's perfect balance of nature and cityscape becomes overcrowded and rainy. Our reasons for being somewhere specific often have a shelf life.

Does this mean the adage "If you're happy with yourself, you can be happy anywhere" doesn't hold true? It's certainly an admirable notion of self-sufficiency. We'd like to think we're powerful enough to transcend external conditions. Yet the reality is that environment plays a major role in our psyche and wellbeing.

So while we alone seal the deal on where to settle, the place itself is pivotal. It's an evolving dance between our inner selves and the outer world. We're drawn to locations that align with our current values and visions - until those inevitably change again. As the saying goes, "The grass is greenest where you water it." But sometimes, you just have to get yourself a whole new lawn.

And as the great poet Robert Frost once said, "Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in." After all, home is not just a place, it's a feeling. And that feeling can be found anywhere, as long as you're willing to look for it.